I travel for my job sometimes, and have found over the past several months that I'm always sitting next to a step-parent. It's funny how it happens, but I do. I'm not much of a talker on planes. I really like to put my headphones on and read a book, sleep, or stare out the window. I use it as "me" time, but every once in awhile I get in a conversation with my seatmate. Somehow in conversation it comes up. Usually when I mention that I'm marrying someone with kids. Then they start with their stories. Here are a few I've wanted to share.
#1.) Woman about 48 years old. Didn't have her own kids, and had full custody of 2 kids that she came into the picture as teenagers. She said, "oh honey, you are going to have some really tough teenage years, but I promise you that it will get better. Always remember that. I have grandkids from them now and there is nothing more amazing than being their kid's grandma. The kids and I have wonderful relationships, and I wouldn't change it for the world. Don't ever let the kids tear you and your husband apart...they might try, and you will fight because of them. Don't give them the satisfaction. Have great girlfriends that you can talk to and vent to...they will be your life line sometimes." She had a lot of advice, but was really happy and optimistic. I like these stories. They remind me that things don't always have to be hard.
#2.) Man about 47-49 years old. In a second marriage with 2 kids of his own and 2 kids of hers. He took a job and moved out of the state his sons live in and is full time with his new wife and her 2 kids. He talked about major regrets about not being close to his own kids and how much it has damaged his relationship with them. As teenagers they don't even want to come visit for holidays or breaks because they feel like a stranger in their dad's life. They are also VERY jealous that he is raising "her" kids instead of them...his own. His stepsons and him don't get along very well, and he travels for work as much as possible to stay away. He was a very very nice man with what seemed like a lot of regrets. His advice was, "stay as close and as involved with the stepkids as possible. Don't let your husband give up on a relationship with them. The kids need him more than he might realize, and it will later hurt him. Things don't end at 18...only legal issues with the ex end at 18. 18 is when they will have more choices of the relationship they will have with you and their dad...make sure they still want that relationship. Fight for it. I didn't." I felt really sorry for him, and told him it's never too late and he should tell his kids how he feels. Apparently I'm an airplane therapist...one step-parent at a time.
#3.) Man about 42 years old. He married an older woman (8 years older) who had a son. He came into the picture when the kid was about 9. Dad was a deadbeat and as a stepdad he had to step in. He said that he made bad mistakes with bad mouthing the dad too much and the stepson lost respect for him. He ran his mouth too much about, "your dad didn't care enough to do everything I do for you...he's not even around...you need to listen to me". Eventually by teenage years stepdad and son were getting in physical fights. A lot of screaming and yelling and putting the son up against a wall. The man never had kids of his own and said he felt like it was up to him to do everything to put the kid in line. He later said that once he backed off a little and let mom be the primary disciplinarian things got easier. Today the son is about 21 I think he said, and they watch football and have a few drinks together. They talk about how crazy those times were and have a great relationship now.
So, from these stories it seems like if you do the right thing and love the kids eventually it all has a way of working itself out. Your own kids are hard enough, but stepkids can be impossible at times.
People who have been through it and come out the other side alive give me hope. 2 out of 3 stories have been good so far with some good lessons from the story not as positive. Odds aren't so bad!
Monday, December 14, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Thanksgiving
This year was our first official Thanksgiving with the kids since last year they were with their mom. We had them from Wednesday night until Sunday night AND my dad came in from out o town for the week as well. This was the first time that he met the kids. I was really happy that my dad made the effort to meet the kids and spend the holiday with us. It meant a lot to me and to the love of my life and the kids. None of my immediate family has made an effort to meet the kids over the past 2 years, and now that we are getting married it's even more important for the kids to see that my family cares about them too. I always worry that when we have a baby together that the kids will see my family ooohhh and aaaahhhh over their grandkid, but not treat them the same. It makes me a little sad for them that my friends and family will never really treat them the same as my "bio" kids, and I try to lessen the blow as much as possible.
We had a great day that started very early with doing a run/walk for a great cause, and I was so proud that the kids have really taken to doing things for charity and to help others. They never complain and they feel great after doing it. We got my dad in the mix too, and when we got home we all made a big breakfast together! We relaxed, and watched a movie during the day and then had dinner. Since I was doing the main cooking I asked the kids to pick something they would each like to make and contribute to the meal. They seemed to put a lot of thought and pride into making their dishes. The meal went off with almost no issues...until I left the pumpkin pie in the oven for an accidental 2 hours! They all teased me, but thank god it wasn't the turkey! I just bought a pie the next day and all was forgiven :)
The rest of the weekend we hung out, went to the movies, had a friend over, took a few drives, hiked, played games, went to the gym, and relaxed. I think my dad was REALLY bored at times because he's a very restless man who likes to be going going going all the time, but we all really wanted to spend quality time together for 4-5 solid days. By the end of the weekend the kids said they really liked my dad and that he was nice to them, and my dad said they were good kids and that he was glad he came.
I couldn't have asked for a better Thanksgiving!
We had a great day that started very early with doing a run/walk for a great cause, and I was so proud that the kids have really taken to doing things for charity and to help others. They never complain and they feel great after doing it. We got my dad in the mix too, and when we got home we all made a big breakfast together! We relaxed, and watched a movie during the day and then had dinner. Since I was doing the main cooking I asked the kids to pick something they would each like to make and contribute to the meal. They seemed to put a lot of thought and pride into making their dishes. The meal went off with almost no issues...until I left the pumpkin pie in the oven for an accidental 2 hours! They all teased me, but thank god it wasn't the turkey! I just bought a pie the next day and all was forgiven :)
The rest of the weekend we hung out, went to the movies, had a friend over, took a few drives, hiked, played games, went to the gym, and relaxed. I think my dad was REALLY bored at times because he's a very restless man who likes to be going going going all the time, but we all really wanted to spend quality time together for 4-5 solid days. By the end of the weekend the kids said they really liked my dad and that he was nice to them, and my dad said they were good kids and that he was glad he came.
I couldn't have asked for a better Thanksgiving!
Lots of time with the kids!
Sorry that I've been so lax in my posts lately! There has been so much mama drama with the BM, but it's all worked itself out at this point (as much as any BM drama can be worked out). She was constantly holding visitation time over the love of my life's head and him and the kids finally got fed up. The kids asked for a sit down meeting with them and both parents so that they could tell them the visitation they want and want everyone to stick to. It's 50/50 but now with set nights during the week and every other weekend. Before she was "letting" him see the kids when it worked for her, and the kids were sick of never knowing what was going on. This is what we wanted in a schedule, but she wouldn't agree and kept insisting to let the kids make the decision. Well, IN YOUR FACE!!!, the kids made their decision and it was exactly what we knew they would want...a more structured schedule. Not only did the love of my life and the kids get what they wanted, but the kids also listed some of their new rules for their parents. Mostly everything was about not bad mouthing each other or putting them in the middle (which the kids kept saying wasn't really aimed at dad but more at mom), and then they talked about wanting quality time spent with them when they are around. Again...not an issue with dad, but with mom. They told her how they were tired of hearing her excuses of being busy or tired, and that sitting around watching movies while she sleeps on the couch is not quality time. It seems like she was shocked that they finally spoke up and put her in her place. They also made many comments about her inability to be a mature adult and be nice to me and their dad. She rings the bell and runs to the car when she picks them up, she never says hello, and is always talking shit about us. The kids see that we are always nice to her and her BF even if she's rude to us. She's making herself look like crap and the kids are finally taking notice.
So, now we have a set schedule that is in the middle of being filed with the courts. The kids have told them both that if they can't make it happen, they will have no problem telling the courts what they want. I think we've turned a major corner here! The kids are finally sticking up for their dad and standing up for what they believe is right. Now that we know exactly what days we have them and he doesn't have to talk to the BM all the time and fight about it...things have calmed down considerably in our house. It's so great that he can now tell her to just shove it when she tries to punish him by not seeing the kids. No more caving to her every whim, and the kids seem more settled.
Right now...times are good!!
So, now we have a set schedule that is in the middle of being filed with the courts. The kids have told them both that if they can't make it happen, they will have no problem telling the courts what they want. I think we've turned a major corner here! The kids are finally sticking up for their dad and standing up for what they believe is right. Now that we know exactly what days we have them and he doesn't have to talk to the BM all the time and fight about it...things have calmed down considerably in our house. It's so great that he can now tell her to just shove it when she tries to punish him by not seeing the kids. No more caving to her every whim, and the kids seem more settled.
Right now...times are good!!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
God's Army...
Tonight the kids had their orientation for a "Life Lessons Class" that BM signed them up for. It seemed simple enough...it's supposed to be a class geared towards teens on how to handle challenges of becoming an adult.
Um...yeah...so we thought.
As we sat around the dinner table and asked how it went, and what it's all about we came to find out it's something much different. It's not only run by a church (not a church the kids go to...they have not been raised with a specific religion), but a program run by the SS friend's dad. We know this family is a religious family, and we are ok with religion. However, neither the love of my life or I believe that kids should be pressured into a specific religion, but ok...mom can have her say too and signed them up for this.
The problem is that not only are they learning life lessons like don't kill, steal, or be mean to people, but they have to wear military type uniforms and have about 28 commandments about following God, and accepting to be "born again". The "commandments" range from being a good person to accepting God into your life and at the end "recruiting others".
Does this sound a little "cultish" to anyone else?
This is where the 2 houses stuff gets really sticky. If it's something that dad is totally against...how does he stop it? One of the kids, SD12, is kind of ok with it, but SS14 is not. They say they don't have a choice, but I find it hard to believe (even though BM is a nut job) that she would be ok with this kind of forced religion.
We told the kids to really look through their manuals and think about if this is something they are spiritually interested in and committed to, and if not they need to discuss with their mother. I told them that they should offer to do some other kind of life lesson thing, and read/learn about multiple religions so that they can get the full spectrum of ideas. This is where my own beliefs may or may not rub off on these kids. If they are really truly interested in doing this for themselves, we will support them, but if not...we will do everything to try to take them out of it.
The whole thing turns my stomach, and I hope that the kids make the right decisions for themselves. I also hope that if they don't want to do it they will not be forced to, and if forced...that the love of my life will take proper action to do whatever he can to pull them out of it.
Praise JESUS that this shit doesn't last like all the other stuff that is never really committed to at "the other house".
Um...yeah...so we thought.
As we sat around the dinner table and asked how it went, and what it's all about we came to find out it's something much different. It's not only run by a church (not a church the kids go to...they have not been raised with a specific religion), but a program run by the SS friend's dad. We know this family is a religious family, and we are ok with religion. However, neither the love of my life or I believe that kids should be pressured into a specific religion, but ok...mom can have her say too and signed them up for this.
The problem is that not only are they learning life lessons like don't kill, steal, or be mean to people, but they have to wear military type uniforms and have about 28 commandments about following God, and accepting to be "born again". The "commandments" range from being a good person to accepting God into your life and at the end "recruiting others".
Does this sound a little "cultish" to anyone else?
This is where the 2 houses stuff gets really sticky. If it's something that dad is totally against...how does he stop it? One of the kids, SD12, is kind of ok with it, but SS14 is not. They say they don't have a choice, but I find it hard to believe (even though BM is a nut job) that she would be ok with this kind of forced religion.
We told the kids to really look through their manuals and think about if this is something they are spiritually interested in and committed to, and if not they need to discuss with their mother. I told them that they should offer to do some other kind of life lesson thing, and read/learn about multiple religions so that they can get the full spectrum of ideas. This is where my own beliefs may or may not rub off on these kids. If they are really truly interested in doing this for themselves, we will support them, but if not...we will do everything to try to take them out of it.
The whole thing turns my stomach, and I hope that the kids make the right decisions for themselves. I also hope that if they don't want to do it they will not be forced to, and if forced...that the love of my life will take proper action to do whatever he can to pull them out of it.
Praise JESUS that this shit doesn't last like all the other stuff that is never really committed to at "the other house".
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
The dreaded ulcer!
Yes...ulcer. I said it. It's what I have. It's what I never thought would happen. How did this happen? I'm 31 years old. A runner (not as much as of late though), a healthy person, a person who loves to laugh and have a good time. Until lately. Lately my whole life has been revolving around everyone else. The fiance, the kids, the BM, work, my friends divorce or financial problems, planning a wedding, renting out my house because we moved to a bigger house and closer to his kids...and the list goes on and on. It's easy all of them to to say, "I don't ask you to stress about this stuff." But I do...I worry about others...apparently more than myself.
Let me tell you what a wake up call this is for me. After a trip to the hospital for doubled over pain in the middle of the night, missed days at work, and skids and a fiance who don't understand "how I could be so stressed"...I finally realized that my health is not worth being compromised. I have to find a way to not be so stressed, and with an ulcer...alcohol is out of the question :(
I told the fiance today that I can't be the one responsible for managing the schedules, and worrying about food, and if the kids have clean clothes, and feeling uncomfortable in my own home. I need some help here reducing my stress levels. From a generally very understanding guy came this out of his mouth, "so, you're saying that it gives you stress to do the kids laundry and why would you not feel just as comfortable at home when the kids are here as when they aren't?" I just looked at his confused face and knew that he just won't ever understand it. I mean, he can walk out in his boxers to get a bottle of water from the fridge. I have to be in full blown clothes because if the kids see me in anything less (even a tank top and shorts) I have the 14 year old boy checking me our or the girl asking why I'm dressed that way. Listen...I'm not dressed to go to the prom every time I walk out of my room. I can wear my glasses, have my hair in a pony, and wear sweat pants. It's allowed. Also, while being sick did either of the kids offer to get anything for me or do anything? Um, no...more like, "that sucks..have fun at the doctor". Maybe I'm just too sensitive, but my friends who have their own biokids will tell me about how when they are sick the kids will make her a card or help with something or ask at least if she's ok or be like, "I love you mommy". I'm so jealous of that... is it so sad when I don't even feel comfortable to be sick in my own house? How do I explain to my fiance that going from being single to running some kind of 1/2 way house for 2 kids and having my life and plans uprooted by the BM at any given moment is stressful? He tells me that I've had 2 years to get used to this. When am I ever going to get used to this? What if I never do????
Everyone either tells me, "you have it really good...you only have the kids 1/2 the time...I have my biokids all the time. you at least get breaks...it's a perfect arrangement". Perfect my ass. I want to ask them if they would like to have someone else's kids in their house 1/2 the time, and the kicker is that the person that calls the shots on when they are there or what's going on is their worst enemy. Having kids in your house that you care about and like you, but don't love you like a parent is not sunshine and roses. And no one on the outside treats you like a parent either. It's not the same. It will never be the same. Case and point...people who act like a step-parent shouldn't be out of work because a stepkid is sick or has school activities.
Or...I hear this, "well, you know what you got yourself into. No wonder you have an ulcer, why do you do this to yourself. There are plenty of guys out there without kids, and if you can't handle it than get out now." News flash...I don't want those guys. I want this one. Baggage and all. Try to explain that to someone who has no clue and it's like I just yelled at them, "because I'm an IDIOT and I'm into self inflicted pain." They pretty much just roll their eyes and act like you are crazy.
So, here's my problem. How do I actually reduce the stress? I am the kind of person that is always running around taking care of everything, but I do make time for myself. I go to the spa with a friend, I read, I get alone time, but I think I need to get out more with other people. Since moving across town I never see my friends. Living an hour away isn't exactly something that makes people want to drive to see you, and my friends with little kids aren't exactly trying to hang out with me and the teenagers. Who can blame them.
I keep thinking if I make some new friends that are in the same situation with kids or stepkids around the same age it might be a good thing. But why does it seem so hard to make friends as an adult,and most parents with kids their age are in their early 40's. Do they want to hang out with me? I'm in a job where I'm around people all day every day, but it's not like I'm asking them, "hey...you got any pre-teens/teens you want to have a play date with?" Seriously...you can't get these kids to hang out with each other half the time anyway. It's all fine and good for these new moms and their mommy and me classes and all the crap that society has for them to intermingle with each other, but what about for us? What do we do when all of our friends sort of fall away because our lives are no longer similar? How many early 30's women are out there dating men with kids as old as my fiance? Because it has to be happening, and there has to be a place other than online. Don't get me wrong. I love my online friends. They are a great comfort to me, and there are days that I totally look forward to what people are writing and who I can relate to and talk to in cyber space. But in the physical world, instead of mommy and me classes they should at least have, "I'm not a mom, but have the responsibilities of one and here's my stepkid that could care less if they are here or not" classes and have iPods and video games hooked up for them and IVs of wine hooked up for us. Should I be looking for women at the grocery store who have kids their age and be like, "hey...real mom or stepmom?" Oh sorry...real mom...yeah, you aren't going to like listening to me complain about BM so we can't be friends.
If there are so many divorces and so many stepfamilies...WHERE IS EVERYONE?????
Let me tell you what a wake up call this is for me. After a trip to the hospital for doubled over pain in the middle of the night, missed days at work, and skids and a fiance who don't understand "how I could be so stressed"...I finally realized that my health is not worth being compromised. I have to find a way to not be so stressed, and with an ulcer...alcohol is out of the question :(
I told the fiance today that I can't be the one responsible for managing the schedules, and worrying about food, and if the kids have clean clothes, and feeling uncomfortable in my own home. I need some help here reducing my stress levels. From a generally very understanding guy came this out of his mouth, "so, you're saying that it gives you stress to do the kids laundry and why would you not feel just as comfortable at home when the kids are here as when they aren't?" I just looked at his confused face and knew that he just won't ever understand it. I mean, he can walk out in his boxers to get a bottle of water from the fridge. I have to be in full blown clothes because if the kids see me in anything less (even a tank top and shorts) I have the 14 year old boy checking me our or the girl asking why I'm dressed that way. Listen...I'm not dressed to go to the prom every time I walk out of my room. I can wear my glasses, have my hair in a pony, and wear sweat pants. It's allowed. Also, while being sick did either of the kids offer to get anything for me or do anything? Um, no...more like, "that sucks..have fun at the doctor". Maybe I'm just too sensitive, but my friends who have their own biokids will tell me about how when they are sick the kids will make her a card or help with something or ask at least if she's ok or be like, "I love you mommy". I'm so jealous of that... is it so sad when I don't even feel comfortable to be sick in my own house? How do I explain to my fiance that going from being single to running some kind of 1/2 way house for 2 kids and having my life and plans uprooted by the BM at any given moment is stressful? He tells me that I've had 2 years to get used to this. When am I ever going to get used to this? What if I never do????
Everyone either tells me, "you have it really good...you only have the kids 1/2 the time...I have my biokids all the time. you at least get breaks...it's a perfect arrangement". Perfect my ass. I want to ask them if they would like to have someone else's kids in their house 1/2 the time, and the kicker is that the person that calls the shots on when they are there or what's going on is their worst enemy. Having kids in your house that you care about and like you, but don't love you like a parent is not sunshine and roses. And no one on the outside treats you like a parent either. It's not the same. It will never be the same. Case and point...people who act like a step-parent shouldn't be out of work because a stepkid is sick or has school activities.
Or...I hear this, "well, you know what you got yourself into. No wonder you have an ulcer, why do you do this to yourself. There are plenty of guys out there without kids, and if you can't handle it than get out now." News flash...I don't want those guys. I want this one. Baggage and all. Try to explain that to someone who has no clue and it's like I just yelled at them, "because I'm an IDIOT and I'm into self inflicted pain." They pretty much just roll their eyes and act like you are crazy.
So, here's my problem. How do I actually reduce the stress? I am the kind of person that is always running around taking care of everything, but I do make time for myself. I go to the spa with a friend, I read, I get alone time, but I think I need to get out more with other people. Since moving across town I never see my friends. Living an hour away isn't exactly something that makes people want to drive to see you, and my friends with little kids aren't exactly trying to hang out with me and the teenagers. Who can blame them.
I keep thinking if I make some new friends that are in the same situation with kids or stepkids around the same age it might be a good thing. But why does it seem so hard to make friends as an adult,and most parents with kids their age are in their early 40's. Do they want to hang out with me? I'm in a job where I'm around people all day every day, but it's not like I'm asking them, "hey...you got any pre-teens/teens you want to have a play date with?" Seriously...you can't get these kids to hang out with each other half the time anyway. It's all fine and good for these new moms and their mommy and me classes and all the crap that society has for them to intermingle with each other, but what about for us? What do we do when all of our friends sort of fall away because our lives are no longer similar? How many early 30's women are out there dating men with kids as old as my fiance? Because it has to be happening, and there has to be a place other than online. Don't get me wrong. I love my online friends. They are a great comfort to me, and there are days that I totally look forward to what people are writing and who I can relate to and talk to in cyber space. But in the physical world, instead of mommy and me classes they should at least have, "I'm not a mom, but have the responsibilities of one and here's my stepkid that could care less if they are here or not" classes and have iPods and video games hooked up for them and IVs of wine hooked up for us. Should I be looking for women at the grocery store who have kids their age and be like, "hey...real mom or stepmom?" Oh sorry...real mom...yeah, you aren't going to like listening to me complain about BM so we can't be friends.
If there are so many divorces and so many stepfamilies...WHERE IS EVERYONE?????
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Why the face?
I've noticed even more since getting engaged to the love of my life that people have different reactions when I tell them I'm getting married to someone with kids. Thought I'd share a few!
Notable reactions include the following:
1.) GASP! Sad/shocked/pity face. From most reactions you would think I just told them I have cancer and have 6 months to live... Being a step-parent is NOT a death sentence! Yes, it's stressful, and unorganized, and can drive you to a breaking point at times, but your life is not over. You aren't an idiot just because you fell in love with someone that has kids and an ex wife. Considering that more than 50% of marriages end in divorce...there are more step families out there than people realize.
2.) The "ready made family", or "insta-mom" comments. I hate when people say "oh, jumping into a ready made family" or "oh, insta-mom". If you are in the same boat you know it's hardly like that. First...you don't just jump into a ready made family. It's not like you are being adopted. It's like an on the job interview that never ends. You aren't really considered to be "part of the family" by this new "family" you just "jumped" into. The stepparent is always under fire, and left with no legal rights for protection. Insta-mom? How about insta-not-my-mom. It's the first thing everyone actually points out. Case and point...I'm pretty sure if I was having a baby, my family would be over the moon to visit and meet the baby...their grandchild. Step-grandkids? Totally different! 2 years later and they still haven't met the kids I will soon be calling my stepchildren. Even your own families don't see you as a "mom".
3.) The "you're a saint". I love these people. "oh wow, you are a better woman than me to take that on!" I don't know if sainthood is achieved by being a step-parent, but thanks for thinking that! I think that people who take in foster kids, or adopt older children, or save kids from dangerous situations are saints. People who dedicate their lives to taking in sick children or mentally ill children. Those are the real saints.
4.) The "I've been there" person. My personal favorite. Men and women who are step-parents. They have the best support, the best advice, and can have a really good laugh with you. I love my online stepchicks who always make me feel better if I've had a bad day/weekend, or helping a fellow stepchick you desperately needs to vent or get advice.
All in all, it's mixed reactions. Sometimes I wish that people would just be happy for me like I'm a young girl that met the love of her life that doesn't come with a few suitcases. 95% of the time I'm happy that I'm secure enough in myself and my decisions to know that no matter what baggage the love of my life has...he's SO worth it!!
Notable reactions include the following:
1.) GASP! Sad/shocked/pity face. From most reactions you would think I just told them I have cancer and have 6 months to live... Being a step-parent is NOT a death sentence! Yes, it's stressful, and unorganized, and can drive you to a breaking point at times, but your life is not over. You aren't an idiot just because you fell in love with someone that has kids and an ex wife. Considering that more than 50% of marriages end in divorce...there are more step families out there than people realize.
2.) The "ready made family", or "insta-mom" comments. I hate when people say "oh, jumping into a ready made family" or "oh, insta-mom". If you are in the same boat you know it's hardly like that. First...you don't just jump into a ready made family. It's not like you are being adopted. It's like an on the job interview that never ends. You aren't really considered to be "part of the family" by this new "family" you just "jumped" into. The stepparent is always under fire, and left with no legal rights for protection. Insta-mom? How about insta-not-my-mom. It's the first thing everyone actually points out. Case and point...I'm pretty sure if I was having a baby, my family would be over the moon to visit and meet the baby...their grandchild. Step-grandkids? Totally different! 2 years later and they still haven't met the kids I will soon be calling my stepchildren. Even your own families don't see you as a "mom".
3.) The "you're a saint". I love these people. "oh wow, you are a better woman than me to take that on!" I don't know if sainthood is achieved by being a step-parent, but thanks for thinking that! I think that people who take in foster kids, or adopt older children, or save kids from dangerous situations are saints. People who dedicate their lives to taking in sick children or mentally ill children. Those are the real saints.
4.) The "I've been there" person. My personal favorite. Men and women who are step-parents. They have the best support, the best advice, and can have a really good laugh with you. I love my online stepchicks who always make me feel better if I've had a bad day/weekend, or helping a fellow stepchick you desperately needs to vent or get advice.
All in all, it's mixed reactions. Sometimes I wish that people would just be happy for me like I'm a young girl that met the love of her life that doesn't come with a few suitcases. 95% of the time I'm happy that I'm secure enough in myself and my decisions to know that no matter what baggage the love of my life has...he's SO worth it!!
Not the parent...
So, since my last blog things have been very busy, but pretty drama free now that we've moved closer to the kids. We see them a lot more, things are more "normal" in our house, and we spend so much less time in the car going back and forth...back and forth...
Let's go back to the previously mentioned "promotion ceremony". You know...the one where we all had to take a picture together like one big happy dysfunctional family? Since we were all in the picture we don't have a picture of our own of this memorable moment. So, I contacted the woman who took the pictures to ask her for a JPEG file of 2 of them. She was nice enough, but won't give me copies because I'm not a parent. Ok, I get that...protect the kids...blah blah blah, but seriously... I'M IN THE PICTURES. So, I can't even get a copy of a picture of myself? They are ok with posting them on a WORLDWIDE website that I can't cut and paste from, but I can't get a copy? The love of my life has to request them.
It made me wonder what other things I won't have access to, and will this change when I have the same last name as the boy and girl? Hmmmmm
Let's go back to the previously mentioned "promotion ceremony". You know...the one where we all had to take a picture together like one big happy dysfunctional family? Since we were all in the picture we don't have a picture of our own of this memorable moment. So, I contacted the woman who took the pictures to ask her for a JPEG file of 2 of them. She was nice enough, but won't give me copies because I'm not a parent. Ok, I get that...protect the kids...blah blah blah, but seriously... I'M IN THE PICTURES. So, I can't even get a copy of a picture of myself? They are ok with posting them on a WORLDWIDE website that I can't cut and paste from, but I can't get a copy? The love of my life has to request them.
It made me wonder what other things I won't have access to, and will this change when I have the same last name as the boy and girl? Hmmmmm
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