So, yeah...summer break has begun. Well, mostly for SD13 now, because it turns out that SS14 failed his Algebra final which made him fail the class and he will be taking summer school for the entire month of June.
Let me just tee this up for you what bullshit it really is...
SS14 is lazy...and I mean LAZY! He always tries to just coast on by, and thinks that someone will feel sorry for him if things don't go well. Hmmm...wonder where he gets this from (*cough* cough* BM). He's been this way since I've known him, but before it was all about being too lazy to turn in homework. Not because it wasn't done...just because it was SO hard to just pull it out of a folder and hand it in. This year as a freshman we told him that school is going to be harder than K-8 and that he really needs to focus and ask for help when he needs it. He had been struggling with Algebra I, and everyone suggested that he take the tutoring available at school. Well, he didn't. Then Algebra II came around, and he struggled even more. Again, everyone suggested that he see the tutor that was available at school during his free period at least 2-3 times a week. He was turning in his homework...I will give him that, but he wasn't doing well on the tests. So, let's jump ahead to his last day of school. My FH had the pleasure of getting him that day, and the second that SS walked in he could tell something was up. SS finally spilled it that he failed the final and was going to have to take an extension class for a week. Well, he made SS call BM and tell her about it, and then FH and BM talked about what to do about everything. If there is one thing positive I can say about the BM is that she is a hard worker when it comes to school. The woman has multiple degrees, and gets amazing grades. Now only if she could do something with them...oh yeah...don't want to get off topic here :)
Let me just say there is only one thing that brings FH and BM together to agree on anything...and it is SS's lack of giving a shit about his grades or anything else. Thank you SS for getting them to talk nicely to each other after almost a year. Basically here's how it went down...because SS not only lied about saying he used the tutoring more than he did (turns out he only went 2 times right before the final), and he didn't do anything to try to help himself (like I don't know, maybe crack open a book and study once in awhile) BM suggested that this 1 week extension was a cop-out and wanted him to take summer school for Algebra I. That would be $160. Then she called the school and found out he can take Algebra I and II back to back for $320 for the entire month of June. BM and FH are going to split the cost and SS has to work off the entire bill over the summer. So, free chores all summer long! YAHOO! Not to mention that he's grounded from anything other than reading, showering, and breathing. If he complains he gets more time added to his sentence.
Even better still is the fact that BM and her BF were talking about their summer vacation being in June, and she was worried she couldn't take SD and her BF's daughter, and my FH was like, "listen, don't ruin everyone else's summer because SS fucked up. We'll take him that week if we need to and put him to work." We haven't heard back on what she's going to do, but frankly, I hope she goes. SD would really miss out if not, and it would pain SS even more knowing he missed the summer trip. Seriously, nothing else works on this kid so maybe 6 weeks of grounding with 30 hours a week of Algebra will put more of a fire under his ass. If not, nothing will.
So, I think most of the "laughter" is coming from FH and I right now because the kids were with their mom this past weekend, and we had to drop the check off for 1/2 of the summer school fees and low and behold, BM's BF had SS cleaning out the garage. You should have seen SS's face, and him knowing we are all taking so much pleasure is probably the worst part of all.
$320 for summer school
$0 paid for chores all summer
$0 for anything fun for SS for 1/2 the summer
Seeing his face and knowing that on the inside he's cussing up a storm at all of us while we enjoy his misery = Priceless
**oh, and SD13 had great grades and is already enjoying a fun summer**
Monday, May 24, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Summer break starts tomorrow!
Wow! I can't believe another school year has come and gone. It feels like it was just last summer when we were taking our first "family" vacation, FH and I got engaged, and before we moved closer to the kids. Our 3rd summer break together already...wow!
A lot has happened during this school year, and although there have been some ups and downs there have been a lot of great changes. Moving closer to the kids was the best decision that we ever made. It sure has been hell at times, and quite an adjustment getting used to having them 50% of the time. The normalcy is so much better. It's no longer these Disneyland Dad type weekends where we have to cram 30 days in a month down to 4. It's amazing how much better the kids are with our relationship, their grades in school have been great, and getting to know them on a regular basis and having their friends over is something you can't even quantify. Both FH and I had reservations about moving an hour away from where we were, to be in the same small town with BM, her BF, and the kids. I have had my freak outs about how much my life has changed and what I've given up, but if I really focus on what I've gained...it's a new family.
This summer we will be doing some traveling again, and spending a lot of time getting ready for the wedding. I'm sure there will be endless friends in and out of the house for pool parties and sleepover. There will be times when I will want to kill them, and times I'll be so happy my house if filled with laughter. Let's just hope for everyone's sake that it's mostly laughter! :)
Happy summer break to all the stepmamas out there who get their houses turned upside down during this time of year!
A lot has happened during this school year, and although there have been some ups and downs there have been a lot of great changes. Moving closer to the kids was the best decision that we ever made. It sure has been hell at times, and quite an adjustment getting used to having them 50% of the time. The normalcy is so much better. It's no longer these Disneyland Dad type weekends where we have to cram 30 days in a month down to 4. It's amazing how much better the kids are with our relationship, their grades in school have been great, and getting to know them on a regular basis and having their friends over is something you can't even quantify. Both FH and I had reservations about moving an hour away from where we were, to be in the same small town with BM, her BF, and the kids. I have had my freak outs about how much my life has changed and what I've given up, but if I really focus on what I've gained...it's a new family.
This summer we will be doing some traveling again, and spending a lot of time getting ready for the wedding. I'm sure there will be endless friends in and out of the house for pool parties and sleepover. There will be times when I will want to kill them, and times I'll be so happy my house if filled with laughter. Let's just hope for everyone's sake that it's mostly laughter! :)
Happy summer break to all the stepmamas out there who get their houses turned upside down during this time of year!
The end of a friendship
I've been quiet from posting for several weeks because my bridesmaid for my upcoming wedding and I have parted ways.
Ok, that's saying it nicely. The facts are this...she had been married less than 2 years to a guy with a kid (so she was a fellow stepmom) when he said "I just don't feel like being married anymore" and left her. There had been rumors flying around since before she even married him that he was cheating on her. Frankly the guy has always made me sick, BUT it was my friend's husband and I didn't have to be married to him so I really never said anything. However, when all signs were pointing to him cheating on her I had to tell her. She of course was in denial and made a million excuses for this loser. The thing of it all is that we all worked together. Friend, her husband, his girlfriend, and me. Well, in my job I have to work with hundreds of people and they all wanted to keep telling me stuff and gossip it all out to me. I did my best to stay neutral and protect my friend even when it has put me in a bad spot with my job. Unfortunately it is now almost a year since he's moved out and she still thinks they might work it out. Ok, he lives with his girlfriend, and sure he hasn't filed divorce paperwork, but come the fuck on...it's over. He won't go to therapy, won't break up with the girlfriend, and really other than not filing (which I think he has alterior financial motives for why he's not filing) he's not giving her any reason to believe that he's coming back. I gave her a lot of time to join reality and see that he was no good for her and continuing to pine after him was no good for her. One night I had texted her telling her that I was sorry if I was taking my frustration with people gossiping at work about her on her, and that I hoped that one day she would be able to move past everything and have a better life. She didn't want to speak to me after that (which I'm still not exactly sure what I said that made her that upset). After 2 weeks of not speaking to me or telling me why she was upset I sent her a long email like an intervention where I pointed out what she's doing to herself and how unhealthy it is to keep at the rate she's going. How she can't continue on the way that she was, and that after this much time I can no longer sit around and listen to her act like she is a victim when she was not willing to stand up for herself, protect herself financially, or face up to the truth.
Let me be clear. We weren't just co-workers. We had been friends for nearly 6 years. We started out as co-workers, but then over the years it evolved into spending a lot of time together, going on trips together, spa days together, spending holidays at each other's houses with each other's family. That kind of friend (in my opinion) needs to hear the truth sometimes that they don't want to hear. Not just sugar coating. It's like dealing with a drug addict, but this douche bag is her drug. After quite some time you start to really lose respect for a woman like that who is willing to be a punching bag, but then whine about it. Especially since this started over 2 years ago with his lying and cheating and being an absent husband. This didn't just happen yesterday.
Eventually she refused to talk and only responded that she no longer wanted to be friends. So, on with the wedding plans without her. All the other girls coming to my wedding and family have really stepped up to fill in for anything she was involved in. It's been refreshing to see people be so willing to help out.
Some might think that I was too blunt, and others might think I did exactly what I needed to do by saying what I said after biting my tongue for so long. Either way, it doesn't really matter because the friendship is over. I don't really need negative friends like that, and I certainly can't be the fake friend who sits around acting like what she's doing is totally healthy and normal. I feel sad for her that she has chosen to live the way she is, but I'm also happy that I won't have to tiptoe around about my wedding and happy things in my life because I don't want to upset her.
Will I miss her? Of course I'll miss her. She was like family to me. She was my first stepmom friend and helped me get comfortable with dating a guy with kids. I also ran my first 1/2 marathon with her, and asked her to be in my wedding...the most important day in my life so far. Unfortunatly, a lot of things that held us together (which was mainly the stepmom thing) were no longer something we had in common and it did make it awkward to talk to her about things with my skids thinking that it might hurt her feelings because she no longer talks to her skid. Some friendships are meant to just be during a certain time in your life, and it looks like this is just one of those.
Ok, that's saying it nicely. The facts are this...she had been married less than 2 years to a guy with a kid (so she was a fellow stepmom) when he said "I just don't feel like being married anymore" and left her. There had been rumors flying around since before she even married him that he was cheating on her. Frankly the guy has always made me sick, BUT it was my friend's husband and I didn't have to be married to him so I really never said anything. However, when all signs were pointing to him cheating on her I had to tell her. She of course was in denial and made a million excuses for this loser. The thing of it all is that we all worked together. Friend, her husband, his girlfriend, and me. Well, in my job I have to work with hundreds of people and they all wanted to keep telling me stuff and gossip it all out to me. I did my best to stay neutral and protect my friend even when it has put me in a bad spot with my job. Unfortunately it is now almost a year since he's moved out and she still thinks they might work it out. Ok, he lives with his girlfriend, and sure he hasn't filed divorce paperwork, but come the fuck on...it's over. He won't go to therapy, won't break up with the girlfriend, and really other than not filing (which I think he has alterior financial motives for why he's not filing) he's not giving her any reason to believe that he's coming back. I gave her a lot of time to join reality and see that he was no good for her and continuing to pine after him was no good for her. One night I had texted her telling her that I was sorry if I was taking my frustration with people gossiping at work about her on her, and that I hoped that one day she would be able to move past everything and have a better life. She didn't want to speak to me after that (which I'm still not exactly sure what I said that made her that upset). After 2 weeks of not speaking to me or telling me why she was upset I sent her a long email like an intervention where I pointed out what she's doing to herself and how unhealthy it is to keep at the rate she's going. How she can't continue on the way that she was, and that after this much time I can no longer sit around and listen to her act like she is a victim when she was not willing to stand up for herself, protect herself financially, or face up to the truth.
Let me be clear. We weren't just co-workers. We had been friends for nearly 6 years. We started out as co-workers, but then over the years it evolved into spending a lot of time together, going on trips together, spa days together, spending holidays at each other's houses with each other's family. That kind of friend (in my opinion) needs to hear the truth sometimes that they don't want to hear. Not just sugar coating. It's like dealing with a drug addict, but this douche bag is her drug. After quite some time you start to really lose respect for a woman like that who is willing to be a punching bag, but then whine about it. Especially since this started over 2 years ago with his lying and cheating and being an absent husband. This didn't just happen yesterday.
Eventually she refused to talk and only responded that she no longer wanted to be friends. So, on with the wedding plans without her. All the other girls coming to my wedding and family have really stepped up to fill in for anything she was involved in. It's been refreshing to see people be so willing to help out.
Some might think that I was too blunt, and others might think I did exactly what I needed to do by saying what I said after biting my tongue for so long. Either way, it doesn't really matter because the friendship is over. I don't really need negative friends like that, and I certainly can't be the fake friend who sits around acting like what she's doing is totally healthy and normal. I feel sad for her that she has chosen to live the way she is, but I'm also happy that I won't have to tiptoe around about my wedding and happy things in my life because I don't want to upset her.
Will I miss her? Of course I'll miss her. She was like family to me. She was my first stepmom friend and helped me get comfortable with dating a guy with kids. I also ran my first 1/2 marathon with her, and asked her to be in my wedding...the most important day in my life so far. Unfortunatly, a lot of things that held us together (which was mainly the stepmom thing) were no longer something we had in common and it did make it awkward to talk to her about things with my skids thinking that it might hurt her feelings because she no longer talks to her skid. Some friendships are meant to just be during a certain time in your life, and it looks like this is just one of those.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)