Wednesday, September 16, 2009

When being a stepmom is totally worth it!

Today is National Stepfamily Day, and it's the perfect time to tell this story...

Earlier this week the boy had a promotional ceremony for an extra curricular activity he's involved in. When he gets promoted he is asked to have 2 people come up and participate in his promotion in front of the entire group. Last time he chose mom and dad. This time he asked me and his mom's BF. I was so honored by this, especially given that the BM would be there watching the whole thing. I was very nervous getting up there in front of everyone and getting the evil death stare from the BM.

When I started thinking about it I realized how brave the boy is, and what a big deal this is for him and for me. Even after his mom tried to get him to change his mind, he still told her, "she has been involved in my life for long enough and has earned the right to be there for me". WOW! It made me immediately realize...I'm doing something right. I'm making a place for myself in these kid's lives and hearts. 2 years ago, I never would have thought this would be possible, and now it's happening right in front of me.

What's funny is that when asked about the BF's involvement he said, "well, it's only fair that I ask him if I ask her".

During the ceremony you could tell that the BF and I were both nervous, and we also were asked to take a professional picture with the boy. At that moment someone asked for "mom and dad" to come up too. What a crazy picture that's going to be. The boy with "both" of his families. Future stepmom on one side, BM on the other. How we were all able to stand up there together without wanting to kill each other I'll never know. All I can say is that if you are truly doing what's right for the kids...this is what it's like and what makes being a stepmom totally worth it! I am a part of their lives, and there is proof in pictures and in front of other people that I am there and I'm just as much a part of this family. Even if it's a crazy stepfamily!

Happy Stepfamily Day!


  1. that was momentous! Congratulations on the moment.

  2. What a great moment, how exciting for you!!! Your hard work is paying off, you deserve it!

  3. Wow!!! That's soo AWESOME! I'm sooo happy for you. :-) It's the greatest feeling ever, right?!?! :-) Congratulations on being appreciated.

  4. Thanks for your congrats ladies :) These are the things that make me know I'm doing the right things, and to hang in there when I want to rip my hair out!

  5. That's amazing that he asked you to do that and stood up for you. My stepkids fear their mom so much we won't see something like that for a long time, if ever.

    We now have a soccer team picture with both me (Assistant Coach) and my stepkids' mom on the other side of the banner, as Team Mom. This wasn't something I was OK with, though... It was something she maneuvered before I could tell the Head Coach that the relationship is beyond hostile... We just can't believe she hates me so and yet keeps putting herself in a position to be close to me. We know she won't be treasuring that picture- only that she was sick of me being in the team pictures.