Oh, sorry, you don't like the c word? Yeah, neither do we, but today it went in DH's favor!
I know you are all patiently waiting for my blog about our wedding (it's coming I promise...there is just so much to tell...all good though), but I have to blog about today's court with DH and BM.
So, the day is here again in a long one year quest to change visitation from EOW to 50/50. We've physically been doing 50/50 for a year but BM has refused to sign off on it with the courts. Reason...she doesn't want her child support reduced.
Today the judge was supposed to make the decision based on the fact it's been 50/50, and that it's what the kids want. (They are 13 and almost 15). DH took the kids to court (BM seemed to be unaware of this even though he told her and the kids that he would be...I think she thought he was full of shit). He took them out of school, and the only reason that he is took the kids is that she consistently says that she is not signing because the kids don't want to make it legal. They told us the reason they don't want to make it legal is because mom told them that if it's legal then on the days that they are with dad they can only be at dad's. No friends, football games, or with mom or the cops will pick them up to take them to dad's. Um...it's not legal now and you've never seen the cops have you? This is just BM's last stitch effort to continue getting overpaid in child support. So, DH had the kids there just in case the judge wanted to talk to them for any reason.
Well, here's what actually happened:
It's not over yet. They have to go back in January. Another freaking 3 months. BUT it's all in DH's favor, and hopefully they won't have to go back.
Here's the deal. She got there before DH and the skids. So, she was already in the room and didn't even know the kids were there. DH had them sit outside the room just in case the judge wanted to talk to them. DH never even got a chance to mention they were there because the judge immediately starting chewing out BM. He asked her why this has been going on so long, and why she won't sign off on it. DH said the judge said, "let me ask you BM...if your 15 year old son said "mom, I'm going to have my GF over so could you just be gone for a few hours so we can have sex" what would you say?" she's like, "no" and then he asked DH "what would you say?" he's like, "no" and then the judge said, "so why would you let them decide this? This is not something the kids should be deciding. This is what PARENTS decide. Teenagers are going to change their minds 100 times in a day...I'm pretty sure that if I asked your 15 year old if he would live with me if I gave him a porsche he would consider it. He doesn't even know me. As a parent you are supposed to be doing what's best for the kids which it looks like you are with the schedule you have. It sounds like the only reason you won't sign is based on something other than the kids. Money? You aren't over your ex husband? You don't like that he has moved on? I'm not sure what it is, but it's not about the kids and I don't like it."
Then he went on to say that father's have equal rights as mothers and that for every child it is best to have 50/50 unless there is a crazy reason like drugs/alcohol/abuse/etc and there isn't here. Then he flat out asked her "do YOU have an issue with them being with their dad?" She said "no". Then he said, "since this is a hearing and not a trial I can't make a final decision" (no kidding the courts fucking take forever). He said, "I will schedule for the end of January. However, you should take care of this yourself. I will rule on the 5/2/5 (50/50) schedule that you already have and CS calculation will be exactly what the court calculator says. The only time I would give more money is if either parent was in poverty and you aren't BM. So, my advice to you is work out the paperwork and file it. I don't want to have to see you here in January. Do you understand BM?
That was it. They left the courtroom and she snubbed DH and then saw the kids. She was like deer in headlights. Even though DH had been telling her they would be at the next court date I think she thought he was full of shit. When she saw them she started bawling. The kids asked for a minute with her. Then came out 5 minutes later with her. She then said to DH "why are they here" and he told her "I told you they would be and I'm tired of playing your games, I wanted them to speak for themselves if they had to." She's like, "they shouldn't be here." He's like, "none of us should have to be here, we are all here because of you." This was all in front of the kids. Then she says "so...are you growing a beard" (because DH is doing the scruff thing right now). He's like "yeah". She's like, "oh, well, kids call me tonight" and then left.
DH said the kids were fine. Even when they got in the car they were like, "we don't know why mom is crying...and why does she care about your beard? so weird." They had lunch, he took them back to school, and we'll now see them later today until Sunday. She is so stupid. He's going to give her a few days and then text her to see when she wants to sit down to take care of paperwork. He thinks she'll just drag it to January to keep the money flowing. I told him that if she does that he should ask for a refund backdated to November 1st since she was only holding out for a few more months of CS. We'll see what happens.
Eventually this will be the end right??? God damn the courts take forever! Either way, even if we have to wait until January, the judge was VERY clear it will be in our favor. YAHOO!!!!!!