I know not all BMs are thoughtless and evil. However, this certain case causes me a great deal of concern.
Today, the girl told the love of my life that she is doing the Lemonade Detox Diet. Um....she's 12. You should not be already filling her head with ideas or putting her in situations that can later turn into a full blown eating disorder. Does anyone really think it's appropriate for a 12 year old to be on some kind of Hollywood diet? I really hope everyone's answer is no... the problem is that her own mother seems to think it's a good idea. Is the girl a little overweight...yes, but most of that is normal hormonal changes going on in her body right now. Could she stand to eat a little less bad food and get more exercise? Yes. Who couldn't. It seems like a pretty drastic measure from a pretty ignorant woman to do this to their own daughter.
From growing up with many friends that have had and still have eating disorders I don't exactly have the warm and fuzzy about this whole situation. On the other side of town what can the love of my life and I do? He tried talking to the BM. All she basically said was, "I'm a good mom, mind your own business." Mind your own business? Is that what the dad is supposed to do just because he doesn't have full custody? Should he still not be involved in medical issues surrounding his kids? Let me also point out that the girl is on other medication right now, and I doubt that having her starve herself is going to help with taking those pills.
This makes me think about society in general and when/how eating disorders happen. Does it happen during these most vital pre-teen years? My opinion would be yes. Do girls not have enough peer pressure to push them into drastic measures for weight loss? Do they really need their own mothers to push this crazy shit on them? Honestly? It boggles my mind. Let me make it very clear...this BM is by no means the picture of health. She is not in shape, she smokes, she is not a healthy eater (but claims to be the expert on everything food related), and she looks seriously unhealthy. Taking advice from her would be like taking advice from a seriously overweight personal trainer. You just don't do it. How do we get across healthy eating habits to a 12 year old who only wants to listen to what her mom tells her? I don't want her growing up with all of these body issues or ending up with a full blown eating disorder.
I plan on having a private conversation with her about how she feels about her body, and giving her other ideas on how to be healthy and not always focused on weight alone. Hopefully she will be able to take a little bit of what she learns from us, and mix it in at home or push back on unhealthy weight loss ideas.
Wish me luck!