Monday, March 1, 2010

BM's response to my fiance

Ok, is her response to my fiance. She hadn't respond to me yet...which I didn't think that she would anyway. What's funny is she does this with every argument. She always acts as if he is bullying her or that there are all these untold lies. I think she does this to have some kind of record of her saying that he's bullying her and disrespecting her...even though he never does anything close. I also think that she is under the impression that he didn't tell me the truth about their marriage/divorce which I know more than I probably should. We were co-workers when they were married, but she most likely assumes that we were together before we actually were. My opinion of her is based on how she has treated me, my fiance, and her kids...which is poorly. Not based on what he has said (I know there are always 2 sides to a divorce story). She has never spoken to me, so she doesn't know anything about me either. Oh well, at least we both tried to extend an olive branch.


Grow up? I have no problem with the kids having a relationship with SIT. I am glad she is good to our kids, but the fact of the matter is that she is not, nor will she ever be their parent and she is crossing the line by acting like she is. I don't carry around anger, I am not immature. I don't even think about you unless you are instigating something. And for the record, I don't come to your door because your courtyard gate is always locked. Contrary to what your ego wants to believe, I'm not bitter, I don't carry around a bunch of anger, I forgave you years ago, but that doesn't mean that I will tolerate the constant disrespect. You can and will paint me out to be something I am not, because if the truth were to come out then you wouldn't be able to play the "poor me, my ex-wife is such a bitch" card, but don't expect me to just continue to let you bowl me over just because you call me names. We're not married anymore, I don't have to be bullied by you anymore. My behavior is not petty, or angry, there is nothing mandated that says I have to go out of my way to be friendly toward your girlfriend. The kids completely understand why I don't speak with her. Perhaps if you told SIT the truth, she would understand my position and have a little respect for me and then maybe, just maybe I might be able to have a "functional" relationship with her, but until that time, it won't happen. I will not deal with someone who has prejudged me so harshly based on lies. And to tell me that I should take a lesson from someone like her is completely out of line and you know it. She has no reason to hate me, she has no reason to feel anything negative toward me, she doesn't know anything about me. I am not going to banter back and forth with you about this, as I told you before, all I want from you is a little respect. You still can't do that. You won, you got everything you wanted...and yet you still have to poke at me and disrespect me and I am tired of it and I'm not going to take it. SIT is NOT a parent of our children regardless of how much time she spends with them, there is NO reason why she should ever contact me about anything with regards to the kids...that is your job, you are the father, it is your responsibility. I am not being petty or immature about this issue and I will not budge.


You keep saying the same things over and over. What we have been talking about really has nothing to do with you and I, but the kids. SIT knows that we were married when we met, I never told her that we were separated until we were separated. When you started dating your BF he was still with his ex-girlfriend that he had a baby with, I don't judge you or him, which I told him directly. What does any of this have to do with communicating about the kids? You act like I call you names all the time, but I don't. You act like I am not civil to you, but I am. You act like I bad mouth you to the kids, but I don't. You act like I tell SIT our entire life was shit and that you were a horrible person, but I didn't. You act like I am some big, bad, evil person and you know that is not true. I have not claimed to being perfect and have admitted as much. I told the kids I take 100% of the blame that you and I split to protect you, what more do you want from me? If the disrespect part is that I don't always agree with you or have a different opinion, that is your problem. What is it about me that prevents you communicating and be civil to me for the sake of the kids? As for SIT, I believe that she was very clear that she does not consider herself the kids parent, but she is an adult, like your BF that has influence in their everyday life. I didn't realize that SIT reaching out to you on our daughter's behalf, about a rash and soap would cause you to again blow things out of proportion. This is just another example of your unwillingness to put your own feelings aside to benefit the kids.


  1. Your boyfriend is exactly correct. It was an email about a rash and soap which could have been easily answered as yes I'll send some to the house next time, or no I won't. If it was truly about the kids, it wouldn't matter who sent the email about the darn soap. One thing ex's don't seem to get is that there are many people involved in the lives of children. Teachers, religious leaders, coaches, extended family members and so on. It's never, ever, never, never between ONLY the two biological parents. She didn't answer you with a simple yes or no because she is bitter and angry. her response was ALL about her and had nothing to do with her daughter.

  2. Aaaargh, how can that be? How can you be having the same dialogues as we do? Like - exactly! I always thought there can't me any other people in the world as damaged as the bio-mum in my life. Shame that I was wrong.