Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Another court road block for FH...major vent


So...with great sadness I am reporting that court did not go well this morning. After 8 months of dealing with filings and waiting for court dates, my FH still has to file AGAIN because the court made a "clerical error" and didn't send him a specific form he needed.

A little background...FH is currently paying close to $2K a month to BM. $1100 is CS and the rest is spousal support. The spousal support was to get her "back on her feet" after 12 years of marriage and her refusing to work once the kids were in fulltime school. Anyway... so, she is now making more money and has had a live in boyfriend for over a year and he decided it was time to request a change. Removal, reduction...whatever. His pay has continued to go down, and her's continues to go up. Well, the judge decided that the alimony will stay untouched because the boyfriend could bail at anytime, and that he's only paying a minimum amount to BM (supposedly) to live there. We all know she lied on her financial statements. Beyond that, she took a pay cut for work right after FH filed this and now the judge is like "well BM is making less than she was". Um, WTF, by her choice in order to avoid having alimony removed. Again...WTF! She's bought a new car, by her choice, but she can "barely" afford it. Give me a fucking break.

In regards to the custody and child support, he used to have EOW and Wednesdays, but after 2 years of doing that the kids kept begging for him to be closer and spend more time with him (BM was mostly leaving the kids alone or with this new BF that is a dirt bag to say the least). So, we put my house up for rent, moved 50 miles to their town and rent a house there. I still drive the 90 miles roundtrip to work though...but no one is compensating me for that are they? No.. anyway, we established a 50/50 schedule back in December that was chosen by the kids. However, BM rufuses to sign off on it legally becuase she doesn't want her child support reduced to about $300 from $1100. Pretty clear it's all about money. Well, today that was supposed to be adjusted and signed off by the judge, BUT the judge forgot to have the clerk include a piece of paper for a petition to change the custody. Although, 3 months ago when this got post-poned another 90 days because BM's paper work wasn't filed AT ALL with the courts prior to the date, the judge requested to do the alimony and custody stuff all at once. Today the fine judge says, "oh, it was a clerical, Mr. You Pay WAY too Much Out Your ASS, you will have to fill out such and such paperwork and refile for a new date. We should be able to see you in 60-90 days." UGH. So, he is still over paying child support. By the time something will be decided we're talking about almost $9,600 OVER what he should be paying. Do you think he'll get reimbursed? Hell no...because the guys are always getting screwed. He pointed out that he splits stuff with me and that he was honest with his financial statement, but the judge said he basically could have claimed that he pays the full amount. So...he can LIE? And a "fiance" can't just walk out anytime apparently, but a boyfriend can? Are you fucking kidding me.

So, basically the court crap still goes on, and BM walks out all smug. Seriously, when is this $$$ bleeding from FH going to end? How many more people can she move into her house to help her pay her bills (she at one time had her sister living there too), and keep living off of FH's money while he can't afford to pay most of his own bills, our wedding, vasectomy reversal, the list goes on and on and on.

There is so much more to what the judge said and what he didn't say, but basically, if he gets a petition he "might" sign it to approve even though BM said in court today "I am fine with 50/50, I just don't want it recognized by the court in case I feel like changing my mind." Um, you have joint custody you tampon don't have sole custody and make all the rules. Somehow even in 2010...judges still buy the bullshit from the BM's. I could puke...


  1. unfriggin believable! makes ya sick. I don't know how these judges live with themselves!

  2. Oh that is terrible, I totally understand the money thing, we pay $1200 a month for the son and luckily since they were never married there is no spouse support. We know what she pays in bills because she has told us and none of them add up to even using the full amount of child support in a month. Based on what we pay for flights, clothes, daycare, food etc, we pay about $2200 a month for the son. While PEG doesn't spend a dime of her own money and still cannot manage to "afford" to come visit her son once while we have him. The courts are completely screwed up and I am so sorry your FH is having to suffer the consequences for dead beat dads. It really sucks and there is nothing that can be done to change it. I really hope he gets it lowered in 60-90 days, I think its BS the ex doesn't have to reimburse him, you would bet your ass that if he didnt pay her CS for 3 months he would be forced to pay the back support. It is completely unfair.

  3. I am disgusted reading this. Selfish BM's have the court system by the balls, don't they? My boyfriend's ex refused to work for 2 years after kidnapping the kids (no other word for it when she takes the kids an hour away from their father without his knowledge), lives with her parents, and has a $500/month car payment her daddy makes for her. My BF, on the other hand, works hard, is exhausted, payf for everything himself, and sends her a huge child support check every month, even though she has NO expenses. She is like a child herself, living off her parents.

    Your FH is not only paying the price for deadbeat dads; he is paying the price for pathetic, selfish mothers who pimp out their uteruses so they never have another responsibility again the rest of their insane lives.

    I agree it is completely unfair, and I find it hard to believe any judge doesn't know it is completely unfair, yet continues to support and reinforce such a heavily biased, one-sided system that does not, in any way, benefit the kids.