Tuesday, February 23, 2010

A condom and a chili pepper

No, this is not a start to a joke about 2 things going into a bar... :)

This is about the sex talk my fiance had with SS14. So, if you are stressing nothing but abstinance in your home...don't read this.

SS14 has a new girlfriend. His first high school girlfriend. She's a year older than him, and is very outgoing and more mature emotionally than SS. Aren't all girls at that age anyway? So, they have started doing the obsessive texting, hanging out, and following each other like puppy dogs. We have always been open with the kids about sex and talking to them about waiting, safe sex, reasons why you should wait, emotions with sex, how birth control and condoms fail, and how just because a girl says she's on the pill doesn't mean you are safe from disease and even pregnancy. My fiance said that he wanted to buy a box of condoms and show him how to use them. We were at the store, and he bought a box of 3. We got home, and my fiance was all ready to have "the talk" but realized we didn't have a banana or cucumber...but we did have a good really sized chili pepper. Oh my god, I was dying!

So, he went to have the talk. He told SS that he was just as embarrassed talking about all of this, but that he wants to make sure that he's fully informed. He told him why he should wait, and other than pregnancy/disease, how it is a big emotional commitment and how it brings a lot of drama into your life. How girls might take it more seriously than boys, and it might increase a reputation with boys but other girls might not want to date him if he sleeps around. He told SS that he would prefer that he waits until after high school, but that if he does decide to have sex that he needs to know how to be protected. Here come the condoms and chili pepper....

They work through all the logistics of putting on the condom in extreme detail. My god man...that poor kid is never going to look at chili peppers again! Bye bye mexican food night :)

Once most of the talk was over, SS tells his dad that BM asked her BF to give him the talk 2 years ago (no longer the same guy around). He said that the BF started telling him about positions and things like that. What a douche bag...and nice that BM asked her BF to talk to him instead of his dad. Perfect example of why she has no right to say anything when I talk to SD about things.

It ended with my fiance telling him that if he can't get condoms or he's too embarrassed to buy them he shouldn't be having sex. HOWEVER, if he is embarrassed he needs to ask him and he will give them to him. He then says, "I'm giving you these 2 other condoms. This is NOT because I want you going out and having sex with everyone. This is for protection if you need it." SS14 says, "dad, it's not like I can sleep with everyone...there are only 2 here." Oh man...teenagers.


  1. Oh I would die!! I know having the talk is important and should be done but just reading this post made me uncomfortable!! Life is so different for teenagers today and its scary all the trouble they could get into. I am very proud of your fiancee for sucking it up and being a good dad. Hopefully the talk sank in!

  2. My word to verify my comment was layes, haha I laughed like a little teenager!

  3. Found your blog today and started reading from the back. I have 4 boys and have supplied condoms and the correct way to use them too. NOT that I think that they should be having sex-ever (or at least till they're 35) but my 19 year old has an 18 m old baby even after having "the talk" and him having condoms. He thought they were "safe" with her having the birth control shot. The 2 younger boys- they have a walking, screaming, pooping reason to use condoms or abstain now. ;)