Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Awkward and insensitive

I'd like to put this out there as more of a public service announcement...

Just because my husband has kids doesn't mean it is open for constant discussion if I do or do not want to have my own kids.  It does not mean that you can ask me all the time if I plan to have my own kids and then give your opinion as to what you think I should do with MY life. 

It is also not necessary to ask a woman of a certain age (in my 30's) all the time about her plans for children.  Honestly, you have no idea what someone might be going through and don't feel like sharing that with you.

Over the past couple of days I have been asked close to 35 times...NO JOKE...something in regards to having kids.  "Hey, how's married life? How come you aren't pregnant by now?"  "So, what's the deal, are you guys going to have kids together or not?"  "Um, you wouldn't plan to have kids together with his only a few years from turning 18 would you?"  I'm here to tell you that these things are NONE of your business.  Seriously, if someone is going to have a'll know.  She'll either tell you or you will see her protruding belly.  Also, if she's not sharing the info with's most likely because she doesn't want to tell you that kind of private information.

I told a friend a few years ago that she should never ask people about having kids because they could be trying to with poor results and the question could upset them further.  That it's not a question people should be asking.  Now that I am that person that seems to be getting asked ALL the time while trying to get through my own personal emotional nightmare...I want to scream at them, "yeah you stupid son of a bitch...we are spending thousands of dollars on IVF, and I had a miscarriage 2 months ago, but thanks for keeping the wound nice and fresh for me asshole."  Instead, I try to smile and say, "well, you know...if it happens it happens" and then go cry in private later.

1 comment:

  1. Great post! I am a firm believer in minding one's own business. I think it is incredibly rude, not to mention insensitive, to ask such a question.