Thursday, September 1, 2011

SS15 Positive

I had to share this...
My SS is almost 16 and learning how to drive. We have a 50/50 custody plan, and got the skids last night after 5 days. I was dreading it as usual because I never know how they are going to come back after being with their mom for 5 days.

Last night after dinner DH took him out driving. They come back about an hour later and I was in our bedroom. I asked DH how it went and he said "not good" that SS's driving was not good and that he yelled at him a couple of times. I felt bad but moved on doing my thing. A few minutes later I went to go move clothes from the washer to the dryer and SS asks me if he can talk to me outside. He is visibly upset. We go out back and he's shaking and on the verge of tears and starts telling me that he's having a hard time driving with dad and dad makes him so nervous. He tells me about what DH is doing that is freaking him out, "giving him too many directions at once, raising his voice, directing and not teaching". He says he is afraid to talk to DH about it because he is afraid he will get defensive. (this is true...DH can get really defensive if you tell him he's not doing something right). SS said it was so bad that he started crying and didnt want to drive back to the house. Which he didn't.

SS starts asking me what he should do, how he can make things better, and also tells me that he prefers driving with me because I'm calmer. He wants to know if I can go next time and see if he's overreacting about dad or if I have any other pointers. I told him I will go with them tonight and see. Then I talked to him about what my dad did when I was learning to drive and that I was scared shitless, that learning to drive is exciting and scary and you will have good days and bad days. At the end he said, "thanks for talking to me I feel a lot better."

I have to say that it felt really good that he wanted to talk to me. He didn't call his mom which is what he normally does. He actually seeker me out when he was scared and upset. I think this says a lot about how he views me, and it really put a smile on my face.

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